‘Alone in my room I got on my knees and tried to call Him “Father.” But it was a useless effort and I straightened in dismay. It was ridiculous. Wouldn’t it be sinful to try to bring the Great One down to our own level? I fell asleep that night more confused than ever. Hours later I awoke. It was after midnight, my birthday, December 12. I was 54 years old. I felt a momentary excitement, a carryover from childhood when birthdays were festivals with brass bands on the lawns, games and relatives coming to the house all day… oh, how I missed those childhood days. I thought of my parents, as I liked to remember them best… one of my cherished memories was seeing him at work in the study. Even in a society where sons were more highly regarded than daughters, Father prized his children equally. Often, as a little girl, I would have a question to ask him and I would peek at him from around the door of his office, hesitant to interrupt. Then his eye would catch mine. Putting down his pen, he would lean back in his chair and call out, “Keecha?” Slowly, I would walk into the study, my head down. He would smile and pat the chair next to his. “Come, my darling, sit here.” Then, placing his arm around me, he would draw me to him. “Now, my little Keecha,” he would ask me gently, “what can I do for you?”
It was always the same with father. He didn’t mind if I bothered him. Whenever I had a question or problem, no matter how busy he was he would put aside his work to devote his full attention just to me.
It was well past midnight as I lay in bed savoring this wonderful memory. “Oh, thank You…” I murmured to God. Was I really talking to Him?
Suddenly, a breakthrough of hope flooded me. Suppose, just suppose God were like a father. If my earthly father would put aside everything to listen to me, wouldn’t my heavenly Father…?
Shaking with excitement, I got out of bed, sank to my knees on the rug, looked up to heaven and in rich new understanding called God “my Father”.
“Father, O my Father God,” I cried, with growing confidence. My voice seemed unusually loud in the large room… but suddenly that room wasn’t empty any more. He was there! I could sense His Presence. I would feel His hand laid gently on my head. It was as if I could see His eyes, filled with love and compassion. He was so close that I found myself laying my head on His knees like a little girl sitting at her father’s feet. For a long time I knelt there, sobbing quietly, floating in His love. I found myself talking with Him, apologising for not having known Him before. And again came His loving compassion, like a warm blanket settling around me.
Now I recognized this as the same loving Presence I had met that fragrance-filled afternoon in my garden. The same Presence I had sensed often as I read the Bible.
“I am confused, Father” I said. “ I have to get one thing straight right away.” I reached over to the bedside table where I kept the Bible and the Quran side by side. I picked up both books and lifted them, one in each hand. “Which, Father?” I said. “Which one is Your book?”
Then a remarkable thing happened. Nothing like it had ever occurred in my life in quite this way. For I heard a voice inside my being, a voice that spoke to me as clearly as if I were repeating words in my inner mind. They were fresh, full of kindness, yet at the same time full of authority. In which book do you meet me as your Father? I found myself answering: “In the Bible.”
- Bilquis Sheikh with Richard Schneider, I dared to call Him Father pg46-49